Lost of the loved one

I'm sorry I have been MIA for a long time. On August 15th, my worst nightmare actually happened to me.. My dearest father has left this world forever. It was so sudden.. and it was so fast.. I've never been so depressed my whole life.. I thought I couldn't ever recover.

When he passed on that night, Razz and I were asleep. Usually I would put my phone on silent mode cuz I can't stand when the phone vibrates or beeps in the middle of the night. But at 11.30pm that night, my phone vibrated for a long time. Razz woke me up and was getting a bit pissed off. Who the hell would be calling me at this time. I woke up half asleep and saw my close cousin called me. I knew this must be important. Saw a lot of unread whatsapp messages. They're all from our family on my father's side. Cousins, aunties. I read them one by one.. and I just could not believe what I just read.. 

I was wailing.. I felt the world was spinning.. Razz asked me what's wrong... what's wrong???  At first I couldn't say anything.. I was just too in shock... when I was calling my cousin back, then I told him my father just passed away. When my cousin picked up, I asked her, was it true. She said yes.. I asked you're not lying? You swear?!! And she swore her life.. At that time I just dropped to the floor.. 

Razz took the phone from me, I was curling up on the floor. I just couldn't breathe.. My head was spinning so bad. I threw up. From the moment I found out about the news, and walked out from the apartment to go to the airport, I threw up three times. I've never ever felt so sick my whole life.. It was really devastating..

We were lucky to get the next flight out at the last minute. The next flight after that would be in another 7 hours. If I didn't get to board on time.. I don't think I'd get to see my dad for the last time..

The journey back home was the longest flight ever. I couldn't sleep. I was crying non stop.. Flashbacks and memories were rushing back into my mind.. His voice, his smile, his lovely face.. they were all coming back like flashcards.

When we reached KL, my in laws came to pick us up. My MIL gave me a change of clothes and a hijab to cover my head. Then, we went to the hospital to see him...

When we reached there, relatives were coming to give me hugs. I just slowly knew that this was really happening.. Before, I was still thinking this was just a big cruel joke. When I saw my dad, lying there.. motionless.. I had to gather all my strengths not too wail. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, smelled him. Hugged him. I let myself cry like a little girl. 

It's still hard for me to think and talk about it until this day. I'm still crying when I'm typing all this. Overall, the funeral process was a beautiful event. It rained when we prayed for him in the mosque.. It was breezy and cool.. Then the rain stopped when we're about to head to the muslim cemetery.. Only when everything's finished I realized how Allah made it so easy for him. And how he granted a beautiful day for us to gather and be with him for the last time. 

I miss him.. till now I can't stop crying when I pray. It has been a huge lost for me and my whole family. I've been staying in KL since that day, as a lot more things happened after that.. One of it is finding out that mom got a brain tumor... but don't worry, alhamdulillah, she's ok now.. After two surgeries, she's back to herself now.  

It's been crazy months. I didn't have the mood to see anyone, post anything on instagram or this blog. I was just too overwhelmed with mom's sickness and people's attitudes. All this negative things really swallowed me up. But thankfully, I'm slowly getting it all together now. Razz went back to Melbourne first. He let me stay in KL till March, till I get things sorted out for the family.

This whole experience has taught me a lot of things. It felt I have to go through bad things after another. It seems like the world is out to get to me. And the only way I did to get me out of this by praying. I prayed relentlessly everyday. I asked Allah to grant me strengths. To make my tasks easier for me. And alhamdulillah, it has become easier...In shaa Allah..

I've got news!

Hi guys, thought I should check in. I still have the bad cough but it's getting better. I have something to tell you guys... I just got myself a job.. yeap.. finally this housewife is chipping in to the household.. hehehe..

But the fun part about my job is.. I'll be working as a cook at a cafe at the CBD. I just started last Friday.. and it's been 4 days already.. I have to admit though, working in a commercial kitchen ain't nothing like cooking at home! And the food I cook is not something I'd cook at home either. So the first few days have been tough.. I'm trying to get the rhythm by observing my colleague. She's Japanese and she doesn't talk English that much.. so sometimes communication with her is a bit hard.. sometimes I think she doesn't even like me because she has this straight face going on all the time haha. But whatever, as long as I get to be as good as her I don't care if I annoy her a little bit... :P

So yeah, I will try to update the blog as much as I can. I really don't want to neglect this blog.. I've fallen in love with blogging and the internet world so I'm really not going to let go off this passion.. even though it doesn't pay the bills but it's okay.. as long as I'm still loving it I shall do it! 

Will update more this weekend.. Should I show you guys what I cook at work? You will see....

I'm Sick :(

*Cough cough*

Guys... I'm sick.

I don't have a fever.. but I have this nastiest cough that is so dry and painful. And it's aggravating my asthma.

Can't remember the last time I had this cough. But this is the first time I got sick since I live in Melbourne.

And this is when I miss my parents sooo much. Cuz back home whenever I get sick, I get a lot of attention from them.

Over here, I still have to cook for myself (and Razz too). Other than that, I still have to do laundry and groceries. In KL if I'm sick, I would just lie in bed and get food delivered to me.

Not that I would ask them to get the food for me. Normally I wouldn't have any appetite to eat at all and that's why they like to knock on my door and just give me something.. like hot KFC.. or chocolate.. or soup.. Ahh bliss!

I really hope one day I get to be with my parents again... They can't move here yet because the parents visa has been closed. I hope the government will bring back the visa again. So in the meantime, they just have to come here as visitors. And they can only be in the country for a maximum of 3 months.

Anyway, I thought I should update what I've been up to for the past few days.

On Sunday 26.7.15 - Razz and I went to his friend's house. His friend, Mike is leaving to Texas on Friday. His wife Yoli has already left on that previous Monday. He gave away some stuffs to us.. I got two big cushion pillow, one small table, some American spices and few Yoli's magazines. Oh wait, he also gave us a trolley too. Over here when we shop, we like to use a pull trolley by the way. Then we dropped it off at our house and went to this American barbeque joint called Easey Street Smoke Out at Collingwood. The meat is soooo delicious and tender.. Man it's the best smoked beef I've ever tasted.

The side dishes

Smoked chicken wings, smoke beef ribs, smoke beef cheeks and smoked sausages

Tuesday 28.7.15 - Went to the city to buy a mop from Daiso. It's just a flat head mop and you need to use to wet cloth (which can be bought at Daiso too) so I can reach the ceiling of the kitchen to wipe off the marks from all that steam of the hours of cooking. Then I went to the pharmacy to get Benadryl (because I'm sick right) and suddenly I just felt like seeing the beach. I haven't been to the beach in months and since it's sunny and a lovely day yesterday, I figured I should just take the tram and go to the St Kilda beach and enjoy the view.

St Kilda beach, not as fluffy as Pulau Perhentian but this would do

At the pier

Accidentally took a photo of my shadow. Lol

And that's it.. I'm spending today in bed with pikelets and reading news from my laptop. Did you know Malaysia's DPM just got sacked because of 1mdb??? That is so bizzare!!! I really think Malaysia is in a very dark place now... sigh!

#bodyshaming not cool

I just read a blog post about a girl who was told she was 'too fat' to have a relationship with after a first date with a guy. She met him on Tinder and was actually going out with other people too as she was single.

So the next day after the first date, while she was on a date with someone else, she received a long text message from this guy saying really offensive things (but tried to put in a nice way) like he adores her pretty face and personality but his mind can only get turned on by someone slimmer...

What.The.Heck?

This really brings me back to that time when I encountered a similar situation. But not with the guy I dated. Instead, I was being called big/fat/ugly by the guy's friends and relatives (on different occasions). I was so young and naive. I always thought that everyone I meet are actually nice people. But sometimes, you tend to meet people who enjoys putting others down and takes pleasure in seeing them in pain and hopeless.

Yes it hurts at that time. It made me felt worthless, ugly and my confidence level just went down. But that also motivated me to lose weight and take better care of myself. It was also an eye-opener that some people just have bad intentions and just because you look confident and a happy camper, they actually want to see you cripple and go down. The funny part of my story is, I lost a lot of weight (about 12 kilos) after the incident and I was really surprised when a good-looking boy who was five years younger than me actually asked me out. Then bam! Got my self-confidence back ^_^

The moral of the story is, it doesn't matter what size you are. As long as you're surrounded by nice people, you will have a happy life. Be careful with people you meet, some can be nice and some can be toxic. And if you ever meet the latter, just make sure that you know you're a strong person and nobody.. and nobody as insignificant as that person can hurt you. Love yourself more to allow other people get into your life and hurt you like that.

The blogpost of that girl can be found here.

Eid Mubarak

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Kuih Makmur made by yours truly

Assalamualaikum,

It's my second year celebrating eid in Melbourne. Yesterday, I spent the whole day in the kitchen and I was really on fire. I prepared laksa johor, rendang, ketupat palas and kuih makmur. I had a mishap in the kitchen while doing kuih makmur but thankfully in the end it turned out okay. So glad I did it, if not it wouldn't feel like eid. 

After we had our breakfast, I went to the post office to collect some packages. On the way there I bumped into a Malaysian family as they were wearing the Malay's traditional attire. I said hi and wished them 'selamat hari raya'  (eid mubarak in Malay). We chatted for a bit and found out they were on holidays. They asked for the direction to the St Kilda beach and I briefly guided them. I walked with them to the tram stop and bid farewell. Even though it was a few minutes chat, I felt great for interacting with another fellow Malaysian on Eid. 

If you guys are wondering why I didn't go to the Malaysia Consultate, I wanted to it's just that I'm really really shy to go. Hopefully next year I would have more courage to meet them by myself. Ice breaking session is not something I'm good at without feeling awkward and shy. Anyway, to end this post I would like to take this opportunity to wish you Selamat Hari Raya or Eid Mubarak.  May this special day shower you with love, peace, goodness warmth and togetherness. Please forgive any of my shortcomings and mistakes said and done intentionally or unintentionally. 

How I Clean My Makeup Brushes

Cleaning our makeup brushes should be a regular element in our beauty regimen. It can be a mundane task but it is an important step to getting rid of the dirt and bacteria that have nestled in the bristles. You know it's time to clean your brushes when you feel a slightly extra build up sitting on your face when you apply makeup. Yeap, it's recommended to clean your brushes every week but since I don't wear makeup everyday, I would just clean my brushes every three to four weeks. But if you suffer from acne, I think it would be better for you to wash your brushes more regularly than an average person. Below are the steps I would take when I clean my brushes:- 

I start with preparing the cleaning utensils: mild shampoo, cloth and shallow cup. I'm using Johnson's Baby Conditioning Shampoo as I find it will leave my brushes thoroughly clean and soft after wash.

Put about 5 drops of shampoo into the cup filled with 1/4 of tap water.

I carefully dip the tip of the brush into the cup making sure that the water doesn't touch the area where the metal meets the body of the brush as to not damage the glue that hold these two parts together.

I start swirling the brush around in the cup and let the water turns cloudy and throw it in the sink. Then I rinse the brush tip under running water until the water runs clear from the brush.

Next, I squeeze out the excess water with a clean cloth while also reshaping the bristles as I go.

Finally I lay out the clean brushes on the cloth and let it dry overnight. I don't recommend using a hairdryer to quickly dry the bristles as I find it will spoil its shape.  

And that's all what it takes to clean my brushes. After all the money we've spent, it's just so important to protect this little investment of ours to make sure the quality remains good for a long time. Also clean brushes are great for your skin too. Hope you enjoyed this visual blogpost and let me know how you keep your brushes clean in the comment section below. 

ღ

Sarah

Credit Card Scams

What was the first thing you did when you got your first salary?

Eat out? Shopping? Put them in savings? I did all that and also, got myself a credit card heh. 

All I wanted in life was to work and pay my own bills so I can feel like a grown up, independent and empowered.

Who knew owning a credit card would bring bad people to your life.

This happened to me few times actually. The first incident I remembered getting a weird call from a private number saying that they were from the bank and they said I needed to make some 'mandatory' payments for using the credit card.

So the gullible 22-year-old me just said okay and naively passed on my details through the phone thinking "Oh, this must be a standard operation or something."

After I hung up, I sensed that there was something fishy about that call. I called the number at the back of the credit card and spoke with the operator if there was really the need to pay some fees to the bank.

Long story short, I found out it was a scam when the bank said they would never ask their customer's credit card information. Ever. The operator quickly terminated the credit card and offered me a replacement.

I was so, soo thankful that I've managed to realize it was fraud before they could go on a shopping spree at my expense. At that time, I felt I was a smart girl.

Then another different incident happened to me once again few years after that when I applied for a different credit card. I know, I know.. like why the heck do I need two credit cards right. This was before GST was implemented, so really I didn't have to pay anything to get another card and plus, this card had the movie discount benefit so I just had to get it!

Anyhoo, not long after that I got a phone call from someone who asked me to listen for few minutes. I said yes and that's when he starts to pitch about safety, liability, accident, bla bla so you guess that's right it's insurance. I can't exactly remember the details but somehow in the end I said okay. And they charged freaking RM300 to my credit card. I don't even remember if it was my credit card or my savings but that 300 bucks just went out of my pocket. 

The thing is, this wasn't really a scam. But it's really unnecessary insurance if you ask me. You should be spending your money on medical insurance like Prudential, ING etc. Not the accidental insurance. After that, there wasn't even a guide available on how to claim this insurance if something ever did happen to you. I was only left with a bill, that's it. In a way, I felt I was scammed.

So guys, if you plan to get a credit card, just be prepared to get these kind of calls. First rule of thumb, never ever give your credit card details to anybody. These include your name, the front number of card, the expiry date and the 3 safety codes at the back. No matter how convincing they sound, just say no I'm not interested, hang up and call the bank to get more information. This way you won't give them the opportunity to persuade and convince you further.

And if it was the insurance telemarketer, be firm and say you're not interested. They will try to persuade even at the last minute. Just quickly dismiss the conversation so you don't get pulled in deeper by them. 

So yeah that's about it. Just wanted to share this little advice with you guys. Had a friend who just started working and got duped by some people. Sigh, crazy world...